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Ashley Kimptons Personal Website

Ashley's laughter page

I'd tell you another joke about a pencil.
But it doesn't have any point!

Why do idiots eat biscuits?
Because they're crackers!

What was the gangsters last words?
Who put that violin in my violin case!

Did you hear about the little boy that they named after his father?
They called him dad!

What has forty feet and sings?
The school choir!

Did you hear about the stupid Kamikaze pilot?
He flew 57 missions!

Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if he lifted up both legs it would fall over!

How many balls of string would it take to reach the moon?
Just one if it's long enough!

What cheese is made backwards?
Edam?

This match won't light!
That's funny, it did this morning!

What do Elves do after school?
Gnomework!

What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead and I'll hang around!

What did the picture say to the wall?
I've got you covered!

What is the best thing to take into the desert?
A thirst aid kit!

Who was the first underwater spy?
James Pond!

Why was the young pharaoh confused?
 Because his daddy was a mummy.

What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
 The teacher says, "Spit out your gum." and a train says, "Chew, chew!"

Name three keys which can't open a door?
 Donkey, monkey, turkey.

What do you call two robbers?
 A pair of knickers.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
 He didn't have the guts.

What do you call a dinosaur with 1 eye?
 A do-you-think-he-saw-us.

What starts with E and ends with E and only has one letter?
 An envelope.

Why did the skeleton go to the restaurant?
 To get some spare ribs!

What do you call a reindeer with no eye?
 No eye deer.

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